Published inAbout Me Stories·PinnedMember-onlyAbout Me — Christopher RobinThis sobriety is making me thirsty. Updated 01/23 — Welcome to my weird little world. I don’t like talking about myself. Unless I’m crafting a detailed, vulnerable creative nonfiction story from my life, where I’ll pour out my soul to you. Then it’s okay. My name really is Christopher Robin. My mother tells me I was named after two…About Me4 min readAbout Me4 min read
Published inMuddyUm·PinnedMember-onlyI Am Your 2022 Spotify Wrapped, and I Can’t Do This AnymoreEnough about 2022, let’s talk about you — Welcome to your Wrapped. This year you ventured into the genre-verse. You explored 94 different genres. Look at you, you indiscriminate human. Your Top 5 Genres were: Yacht Rock Vegan Straight Edge Horror Country Italian Occult Psychedelia Kids Party Music From sunrise to sunset, you kept us guessing. Like, migraine-inducing…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published inBlack Bear·PinnedMember-onlyAddiction Recovery Is About More Than Quitting, and Sober Sex is WeirdAnd I thought it was just about putting down the drink — My wife and I sat down the other night to catch our breath after a long day of life with kids and jobs and all that happy business. I looked at her, but she seemed to be somewhere else. When she’s unhappy with something she gets this barely-perceptible pursed look…Addiction4 min readAddiction4 min read
Published inThe Pub at Pooh Corner·PinnedMember-onlyThe Averagest UnsuperpowerHow to be regular-ish — Let me tell you just how average I am. I am Median Man. My superpower is commonality. I possess qualities that not everyone wants, but some do. Maybe. I possess a less-than-excessive amount of mediocrity. And that’s just okay, I guess. I’m not the best at anything, and not the…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published inSongstories·21 hours agoMember-onlyStop This Train, I Want To Get Off and Go Home AgainI’m never gonna stop this train — It’s strange to go to the same amusement park where the kids stand next to the same height signs year after year. …Music5 min readMusic5 min read
Published inEllemeno·May 31Member-onlyHow I Detached from My Wife and Learned What Real Love IsLove is not what we think it is — She didn’t respond when I sent her a text to let her know I was on my way home. Worry overtook me. I became paranoid that she was upset about something and I panicked during the entire hour-long ride home. I tentatively said hello when I came in the front…Love6 min readLove6 min read
Published inThe Memoirist·May 26Member-onlyI Was Suspended For Calling Someone a Butthole, and I Pissed My PantsCatholic School Strikes Again — Catholic school = shame, fear, control, indoctrination. My parents were trying to give me a good education and a moral compass, but shame and fear were not the way. And those are the things Catholic schools specialize in. I was a “bad” kid because I fought the system and because…Memoir5 min readMemoir5 min read
Published inThe Unfocused Writer·May 24Member-onlyWe’re Talking About Writing and Medium on Season 2 of the Unfocused Writer Podcast!This time we’re bringing it home — I know you can barely contain yourselves. Take it easy; we don’t want you blowing up Spotify. In all the seriousness I can muster, I want you to know this episode is my absolute favorite so far. It’s relevant, fun, and our most natural. This includes KiKi and I making…Writing3 min readWriting3 min read
Published inEllemeno·May 18Member-onlyIt Feels Weird to Watch My Wife Try to Stay YoungWhy do we battle the inevitable? — The night my wife turned 40, we left the kids with my folks and went out for dinner and drinks. We sat at a bar, and I mentioned something about her 30s almost being over. “Well, you have one more year until you turn 40!” I took a sip of…Aging5 min readAging5 min read
Published inThe Unfocused Writer·May 17Member-onlyMake Some Art With MeDon’t tell me you can’t draw — Art is something you learn. It’s a skill you practice. It’s a muscle you can make stronger over time. We tend to see art as though it’s magic. We see it as some kind of innate talent bestowed upon a select few magnificent creatures as if the ability to make…Creativity4 min readCreativity4 min read