This sobriety is making me thirsty. Updated 01/23 — Welcome to my weird little world. I don’t like talking about myself. Unless I’m crafting a detailed, vulnerable creative nonfiction story from my life, where I’ll pour out my soul to you. Then it’s okay. My name really is Christopher Robin. My mother tells me I was named after two…

And I thought it was just about putting down the drink — My wife and I sat down the other night to catch our breath after a long day of life with kids and jobs and all that happy business. I looked at her, but she seemed to be somewhere else. When she’s unhappy with something she gets this barely-perceptible pursed look…

How to be regular-ish — Let me tell you just how average I am. I am Median Man. My superpower is commonality. I possess qualities that not everyone wants, but some do. Maybe. I possess a less-than-excessive amount of mediocrity. And that’s just okay, I guess. I’m not the best at anything, and not the…

Surviving in the wilderness of the woods behind Mark and Debbie’s house — You don’t need to take your laptop to the beach to enjoy the freedom of remote work. That cliche image of someone clacking away at a keyboard from the comfort of a seaside chaise lounge is the epitome of remote work idealism. You wouldn’t be able to see your screen…

When you make a change, how do others see you? — There comes a time to the sober-curious when we turn sober-serious. Most times it’s easier to survive the day and get to the next drink, which is why it’s so hard to quit. Sometimes it takes many attempts at sobriety. I had many failures and many mornings spent soul-searching about…

Oh, the places I’ll go — With my partner out of town and the kids back in school, I was starting to feel like a prisoner. I’d been working from home all week and was desperate to get out of the house. I needed to move my body in a way that couldn’t be done in…

One thing that remains a constant in life is change. Things here at Medium are in a state of flux these days. Some people lament the new Partner Program calculations, while other people enjoy windfall profits. KiKi Walter and I wanted to go in a different direction. Instead of becoming…

My Dad Had All of His Teeth Replaced in One Day — As blood oozed from his toothless mouth, I couldn’t help but notice how old he looked. When did this happen? Seeing him with no teeth felt like a foreshadowing of things to come. Chronic periodontal disease had plagued him for decades, so my dad opted for oral reconstructive surgery. …

4 Coffee Substitutes and Some Jokes — Let’s face it: there is no substitute for coffee. But for those of us looking to tap the brakes on the runaway caffeine train or try something new, there are some interesting options out there. Most of them are mushroom-based, so I’m either going to see God or be dead…