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The Facets of Ourselves We Show to Different People
We share parts of ourselves with many, but not everything with one
The other day I was talking with a friend about the parts of ourselves we share with others, and how they differ from person to person. We are many things to many people, all different.
I read this piece by my friend Natasha MH and it hit me even harder. It was about who would give her eulogy, and who actually knows her.
Who truly knows any of us? My wife knows me as one thing. Or many things, maybe, but one thing in her life. Others know me as they know me, through the many lenses of their own lives and experiences.
This morning I heard from a friend I knew from my army days. He and I were best friends in the army band 25 years ago. We traveled and played music together for years. He knew me as a musician, a bit of a clown, and as a non-conformist in the most conformist job imaginable. When I left the army, we lost our common ground and drifted apart. Now, when we try and catch up, I realize we have no idea who each other is anymore. We are vastly different people. He knows that part of me, in that context.
My two best friends from school are still among my closest friends even though we only get together once a year. The people I was friends…
