Paul Simon Says There Are 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover, but Only Lists, Like, 7 If You’re Generous

Here is a colossal waste of time

photo and mug courtesy of author

We’re coming up on the 50-year anniversary of Paul Simon’s classic “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”. In honor of the occasion, I gave this one a good listen to and realized a few things.

The given ones are pretty vague and less than helpful in the modern world. A lot has changed since 1975, and we need more ways to get out of bad relationships than ever.

Paul gives us the novel advice:

1. “You just slip out the back, Jack.” A solid start.
2. “Make a new plan, Stan.” Not really a way to leave your lover, but I guess a good plan never hurt anyone.
3. “You don’t need to be coy, Roy.” This is a suggestion to be clear with your wants and needs and set clear boundaries.
4. “Just get yourself free.” Vague and unhelpful.
5. “Hop on the bus, Gus.”
6. “You don’t need to discuss much.”
7. “Just drop off the key, Lee.”

…and get yourself free.

50 Ways was written 50 years ago, but it’s still at least 40 plans short of 50.