I agree with everything you are saying, and I have struggled with those very things you mentioned.

To summarize a bit, you are right — I misinterpreted what she actually needed me to be doing. I had mistakenly assumed that working harder was the same as working smarter, leaving her feeling exactly as you described.

Luckily, things have improved dramatically over the years and we are working more as a team now than ever before. Sadly it took me years to figure all this out. We are still rebuilding our relationship, but we are on the road to success.

Thank you for your comments. I take everything said here seriously and appreciate your thoughts!