AH! It's the opposite of numb! This idea is hard to convey, but I'll try.

This is the piece that did it for me, and probably saved my marriage:

https://medium.com/mindfully/the-purest-love-is-detached-love-and-this-is-how-it-works-e814700fd12b

Detachment is about allowing your feelings into your life and being with them without getting attached to them. Like if I ask my wife a question expecting or desiring a certain answer and I don't get it, it's okay to be disappointed, but feel that and then move on.

If you're feeling happy one day while watching your kids playing in the yard, embrace that feeling, let it into your life, but don't get attached to it, because things WILL change. It's sort of an acceptance of who we are, who our loved ones are, who we are, knowing it will all change, and loving regardless.

Does that make sense? The article above may clear it up.

Like you felt the other day, I hope I'm not over-stepping. You're one of the few people I've met here who I feel comfortable enough with to discuss things openly and objectively.

Let me know what you think!

Chris