This sobriety is making me thirsty. Updated 03/22 Welcome to my weird little world. I don’t like talking about myself. Unless I’m crafting a detailed, vulnerable creative nonfiction story from my life, where I’ll pour out my soul to you. Then it’s okay. My name really is Christopher Robin. My…

Things will never be the same — Albuquerque, NM — A stunning development occurred in the lives of millions of couples last week as a local husband found something for which his wife sent him looking. Nick Holton was sent into the garage for the thing — an important piece of entertainment paraphernalia — and he found…

I am normal, not average, and I am pretty god damn okay — When I first started on Medium I had no idea how much of an impact it would have on my life. Nor did I know what kind of rough emotional shape I was in at the time. A couple of years ago my marriage was struggling, my mental health was…

Also, I need an angioplasty — Several pounds of tube meat, stacks and stacks of 100% beef patties, lots of bacon, two pounds of sharp cheddar cheese, and all necessary accoutrements were stored in hundreds of pounds of ice. With this amount of food we could survive months despite the trip being only a few days…

Putting some ink and blood on paper — Lots on my mind today and I’m tired of trying to fit it into one coherent article. Instead, today you get the pleasure of a stream of consciousness. Aren’t you excited? Let’s begin! I’m drawing as I write this, so I’ll show you my progress as we go. I started…

First my dental hygienist, now this hot twitter babe — Can you imagine my luck? Sometimes you’re just a hot commodity. You can go through years of your life feeling like a worthless, unlovable piece of shit, then suddenly you find The One. That being said, this isn’t my first rodeo at being lusted after. My dental hygienist gave me…

Yes, like that — What happens inside your head when you see an attractive person in public? Have you ever really thought about it? Something about this piece feels entirely human but entirely dangerous, and maybe because I usually stay away from touchy subjects. It feels as if I’m treading on thin ice with…

Supertramp, Por Ti Volare, and boats and hoes — This isn’t a joke or a tease. This is real, but there are some good reasons and a good thing for us music aficionados moving forward. Let me explain. But first, click play: It was an early morning yesterday I was up before the dawn And I really have enjoyed my…

It hurts so good — Like raindrops on a window and the barren limbs of an old oak tree, sadness is all around us. Frankly, it’s underrated. Sadness is there for a reason. If nothing else it’s good for contrast. Without the bitter we wouldn’t be able to taste the sweet. While driving to work…